• Allie From The Valley

Who Are All These Crazy Ex’s

Everyone seems to have a crazy ex. We hear about them all the time. We know these crazies walk among us, but who are these people? If there are so many of these so-called crazy ex’s, why don’t we have more crazy friends? Well, the answer is we have more crazy friends than we think… and yes, they are the crazy ex’s… and I am sorry to break the news, but we are the crazy ex’s too… at least to someone out there, whether we’ve met them yet or not. The truth is we all are “crazy” to someone because we all have different perspectives and until we find someone who has a perspective on life that aligns harmoniously with ours, we run the risk of being a crazy ex. Sorry. It’s just a chance we have to take in this game called love.

The real reason I want to bring this to your attention is because the idea of everyone having a different perspective has brought a lot of comfort to my life (both in the arena of romance and out). Believe me, I’m no different than the rest of you. Yes, I have had a crazy ex (not in years, thank god). However, I have realized that it doesn’t make you feel better thinking your ex is crazy. In fact, it’s kind of sad to think your ex is crazy because at one point you did love something about them, whether you like to admit it or not. Plus, if you just write your ex off as “crazy”, you can’t grow from the relationship and you’re most likely going to end up dating another guy just like your ex until you learn the lesson the world is trying to teach you. Oh yes, isn’t it wonderful how the world loves to throw shit like that at you until you are forced to grow?

Rather than thinking of your ex as “crazy,” reframe your view to “our perspectives did not complement each other.” Once you’ve done this you can pinpoint what perspectives did not work together and make better choices with your future lovers.

Knowing that everyone has a different perspective should be liberating. Here’s how I see it: Think first ( I often forget this step), then SPEAK. YOUR. MIND. Don’t fret if someone thinks you’re weird (in fact, be flattered if they do because most likely that means they won’t forget you). You have to do this to find all those like-minded people who share perspectives on the world that might complement yours. Don’t just be this way with people you date because this is just as important when developing amazing friendships. It’s WILD the results you will get being completely honest with yourself and with other people. I bought some cheesy shirt with a quote on it from Forever 21 back when I was a little tween ( I promise having shirts with quotes on them was really really cool back then… maybe). The quote on the shirt just recently started to resonate with me… “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” Yeahhhh… so it turns out a pretty smart guy who goes by the name of Henry David Thoreau said that… I totally knew that before I bought the shirt… I didn’t just google the quote right now so I could cite it… I’m way more cultured than that. In any case, what I’m trying to get at is being honest with people is more important than anything else in the entire world, not because you will be looked down upon if you don’t tell the truth 100% of the time (I’m definitely guilty of telling a few white lies here and there; no one is perfect), but rather because this is how you find the real relationships you could go a lifetime looking for and always missing the mark. Accept that someone is bound to think you are crazy no matter what, and get out there and share your wild, unique, beautiful, perspective with the world. The like-minded will flock to you.

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