• Allie From The Valley

Lost Never Felt so Good

Listen up folks. I have a new theory on being lost. It’s groundbreaking in fact… or maybe it’s something that all of you have already realized and I am just late to the game. That is very possible. Regardless, I have to share this theory in the small case that one of you have never thought about the idea of being lost in this way before because it has completely changed the way I have been feeling this past year. I can’t just keep that kind of gold to myself.

So, here it goes…

Do you remember how it felt to be lost when you were a kid? It was scary as fuck. I’d get lost down an aisle in a supermarket where my mom was just an aisle or two over and all of a sudden I thought I was left behind. I’d get all sweaty and panicked and start calling out “Mom!!! Mom!!!” This is the part where I tell you this was me a couple of months ago… just kidding, just kidding, but I will say the idea of being lost was still pretty scary/stressful/anxiety inducing not too long ago. I remember going on a road trip a year or two back and I got lost. For whatever reason this really stressed me out. Why? The answer is simply because I was convinced that if I was lost, somehow I’d never find my way. I acknowledge this makes no sense because in what occasion have you EVER been lost and not eventually figured out where you were going? If you are reading this now, I can answer that question for you and say, NEVER. The only time this happens is if you get lost in the middle of a forest and a bear inconveniently eats you and then you are lost… and dead… forever… case closed. In pretty much every other case, you end up finding your way.

Knowing that my logic of being lost was completely fucked up not that long ago (hence the road trip story), I’ve recently had a change of view on being lost, probably thanks to being in a new city where I get lost almost every day. Being lost isn’t a real thing. Being lost, perhaps, is just an easy way of saying, “I got off at the wrong stop and now I’m going to be 10 minutes late,” or “I need to reroute my maps because I put in the wrong address.” There are a million different sentences that could fall under the umbrella of “I’m lost,” but if you know where you are trying to go, then you are never really lost, you are just working through the means of how you will get there.

Okay, so here’s where this is going to get a bit metaphorical. I felt lost the whole first year after being out of college. I don’t mean lost like I couldn’t figure out how to get home. I mean lost like I didn’t know what to do with my life. I’m sure to all my 20-something- year-old friends out there, I’m preaching to the choir because that is a pretty normal way to feel at this time in our lives… right? But, here’s the thing, recently (pretty much since the day that I moved to New York), I have been feeling much more uplifted about this feeling of being lost. At first I didn’t question it, but I sat down the other day and thought I better analyze the hell out of why I’ve been feeling so amazing lately, so I can know what to do next time I am feeling like I am in a rut. The reason I have come to terms with being lost and actually feeling great, despite the fact that I am still pretty much in the same position as I was in Los Angeles (i.e. not really knowing what way to go with my career), my mindset about being lost has altered to be more similar to the one I described above about being physically lost: Being lost isn’t a real thing because we have the tools to eventually get to where we are going (again, unless you somehow get eaten by a bear and die along the way).

So, what are my tools for getting to where I want to be? All the tools are in the things I love to do. I know that I get a thrill when creating something. I know I love to tell stories. I know that I love acting. I know that since the day I hit 7-years-old and could hardly spell, I wanted to write. I know that I love performing, making people laugh, socializing and making connections with strangers. I know I love reading personal growth books (like a maniac), watching Ted Talks (it’s an obsession) and creative visualizing all my hopes and dreams on a daily basis (who am I? I sound like the most motivated person in the world). I know I LOVE writing my blog, even though the thought crosses my mind every minute of how much people might be judging me. I know I love going to therapy and talking about my feeling and trying to understand where my feelings are coming from. I know I love being with my friends. And probably the thing I love the most in the whole world is spending time with my family.

How the hell have I been moping around about feeling lost this past year? I know so much about myself and those are the perfect tool for getting to where I am going. If anything, being lost with all those tools is the most exciting thing ever because I get the opportunity to experiment with different routes that my life may go in every damn day, and can you imagine how amazing it will be when I find the perfect path for myself that includes my entire list above of all the thing I love to do? It’s going to be INCREDIBLE!

The past year of being lost, I felt like I had to make a decision right then and there if I was going to be an actor, a writer, a producer… the list goes on and on, but I’ve realized putting a time frame on the ultimate goal of discovering your path is not the answer. Make your path the most unbelievable exploration and you will get to exactly where you need to go.

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